[in a small park]

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline spends several days after the bank robbery holed up in her hotel room. She is both relieved to have gotten away unscathed and a bundle of nerves. She sassed a goddamn supercriminal. More than once. But she's here to tell the tale and maybe someday laugh about it.

So now here she is, venturing forth in search of wifi. She needs to plan the next leg of her trip, because she sure as hell isn't settling in Gotham. She finds a little coffee shop next to a park and ducks inside. She acquires an iced coffee and the password to the wifi. She heads back out into the fairly nice weather and settles on the nearest park bench to see if... oh, not quite.

She ends up curled up under a nice shade tree eventually. She contentedly sips at her coffee and makes good use of her bar and a half of wifi, scribbling down information in a little notebook she brought with her.

It's a good day after all. She hums a little.

Comments

[confound]

Eddie's in good spirits today. It's the sort of good mood that can only be created by not only winning in a game of wits, but winning and getting away with a rather sizeable sum of money in the process. He's already planning the second heist. A bigger bank, a better payout... and a bigger risk of capture by the Bat. But that's the fun, isn't it? That's the challenge.

He's taken the day off to mostly wander around this little suburban hamlet and take in the weather. Not as unreasonably hot as the days that preceded it, but still rather toasty. He acquires coffee and a bagel from a nearby cafe, and sets about strolling through a park. The bagel is rather unfortunate in quality, so he goes about tearing small chunks off of it and tossing them to birds as he goes. He's hoping to find something in this park other than the flying rats, maybe. He's got an eye out for more than just birds, of course. One never knows when the police or some costumed crimefighter will ruin one's fun.

He's fairly certain the old couple jogging and the redhead under the tree aren't undercover cops, however.

Wait. Redhead under the tree.

He has to actually pause and retrace his steps but, yes, he gets a good look at her. The puzzle-solver. He forces his expression from the mischievous grin it had automatically become to something friendlier and saner, and ambles right up to her.

"Afternoon, miss. Nice weather we're having."

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline doesn't pay any attention to the other people in the park going by. Until someone's coming right up to her. And... oh dear. That's a familiar voice. She squints up at him. Well fuck.

"Uh, I guess so." What the fuck do you say to that even when it's not a supercriminal who recently pointed a gun at your head asking? Ugh. At least he didn't ask if this seat was taken.

[confound]

Eddie has a perfectly good follow up in mind. What actually comes out of his mouth, though, is a different matter entirely. "Is this tree taken?" Nailed it.

And then it actually hits him what he said. He looks at her blankly for a minute then sighs, plopping down on the ground in the tree's shade whether she says yes or not. He's the Prince of Puzzles. He's taken on the Batman. He can't deliver an icebreaker to save his life. He does what he wants.

[sweet_caroline]

Jesus fucking Christ. Caroline is so dumbfounded she starts laughing. Shit, don't laugh at the Riddler, he'll shoot you. She gets it together quickly enough and says, mostly for something to say, "Well, as far as I know, it's a public park."

She eyes him warily, but doesn't try to get up or reach for her cellphone. This day just got very, very strange.

[confound]

Eddie snorts at the laughter and tosses a few bits of bagel to the always-nearby pigeons. Why couldn't there be ducks? He likes ducks better. But not geese, never geese, those assholes. "I would hope so. I'd hate to be arrested for trespassing."

He's certain she's recognized him but he's hardly going to just go and say something about the whole bank robbery she was a hostage in. Even he's not that awkward.

[sweet_caroline]

Huh. Apparently this isn't a gun day, after all. Well okay... Caroline just keeps squinting at him suspiciously.

"You know," she says slowly after a moment, "I think you dropped something the other day." Since we're apparently making weird conversation and all.

[confound]

Rest assured, he does have a gun on him. Eddie would just rather not at the moment. It's a nice day and he doesn't want to completely blow his chance at a second heist after the first went so smoothly.

"I see you continue to be wrong, miss." Eddie stops with the birds and sips his coffee in what he can only hope is a non-awkward manner. It will be legitimately the only non-awkward thing occurring under this tree at the moment. "I didn't drop anything."

[sweet_caroline]

Oh for... "Oh, of course. I just hope you don't throw the book at me for another wrong answer." Caroline, that's terrible. Caroline no.

Having no idea what else to do, she reaches for her own coffee and takes a sip. Good job, Lichfield, that's a joke bad enough to take a bullet over.

[confound]

"That joke is bad enough it might actually be illegal." Still, Eddie's laughing. That was bad enough he could have come up with it, and that's saying something.

He will give her many points for having a sense of humor as legitimately awful as his is, that's for sure.

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline shrugs a little. "At least I didn't steal a calendar. I hear that'll get you twelve months."

She still can't quite believe what's happening right now, but she's a little too fond of really terrible puns. So have another. She sips at her coffee and tries to look very serious.

[confound]

Most people would have probably groaned aloud at that one. Fortunately (maybe?), Eddie Nygma is not most people. He just puns right back. "Well, what you seize is what you get, I suppose."

Ok that was especially terrible. He's not even sorry.

[sweet_caroline]

That one was so bad, Caroline starts laughing. After a moment, she gets it together enough to remark, "You know, I heard once that a criminal's best asset is his lie ability. I wonder if that's true." She can't help it, she is making the really bad joke face at the Riddler. What has become of her?

If Caroline hadn't already thought she was a bit nuts, her brief stay in Gotham would have tipped her off. Really, Lichfield. Really.

[confound]

Eddie is so deeply amused that he can't quite deal with it. Everything is atrocious jokes and it's wonderful. "Of course it is. And a clean crook always makes a stainless steal."

He's not laughing but that's because he's trying really, really hard not to. His shoulders even shake a little bit from the contained laughter.

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline can't. She really can't. She lets out this sort of... screech sound. After a moment of kind of insane sounding cackling, she gets control of herself again. And makes a Very Serious Face at the Riddler.

"You know," she says solemnly. "I heard about this thief who fell into wet cement as he fled the scene of the crime. He became a hardened criminal."

[confound]

Eddie bursts out laughing briefly, then coughs and forces himself quiet again. This is ridiculous so he's got to keep a straight face, obviously. "He might've been the same one who robbed a blood bank. Allegedly, he was caught red-handed."

[sweet_caroline]

"Well, then there was the guy who stole an entire case of soap." She pauses to look down at her hands, mostly to try and compose herself for the punchline. She looks back up at the Riddler with her best tragic expression. "He made a clean getaway."

[confound]

Eddie has to muffle himself with the back of his hand at that. Good lord. Once he's composed himself he's got another one for her. "I knew a drycleaner that was indicted for money laundering. They're still ironing out a deal."

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline actually has to hide her face in her hands for a moment. Oh god. Everything is terrible puns and nothing hurts.

"All right," she says finally. "All right. What do you call an arrogant fugitive falling out a window?" She waits a beat. "Condescending."

[confound]

Eddie winces and snorts at that punchline. "Not bad, miss. But why can't costumed criminals have flutes?" He tilts his head and regards her with the utmost seriousness. "Because the terrorists woodwind."

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline cracks up again. Actually, she throws her head back and just laughs. That's so awful. It's great.

"You know, I heard about a guy who was shot with a BB gun." She folds her arms and gives the Riddler a sidelong glance. "His case ended up in a pellet court."

[confound]

Eddie's struggling valiantly to keep his shit together still. He's not near out of puns yet, not even remotely. "Did you hear about the bivalve they called in to interrogate for that big murder investigation?"

He lets his voice drop down to a quiet, conspiratorial tone. "Apparently, he's clammed up."

[sweet_caroline]

This onslaught of puns is almost too much for Caroline. She has to wipe tears from her eyes from all this laughing. She honestly can't remember the last time she laughed this much.

"Oh be careful, vandalism is just a stone's throw away." That's not her best effort, but she's practically oxygen deprived at this point.

[confound]

Eddie finally gives up on the bagel entirely, chucking it off into the distance before sprawling back onto the grass. The remaining coffee goes on the ground next to his leg where it's immediately forgotten.

He stares up at the branches, laughing. He'll think up another pun. He's always got more puns.

Which doesn't take all that long, unsurprisingly. "Did you hear about all the stolen lamp shades?" He arches a brow in Caroline's general direction. "The polite weren't able to shed any light on a suspect."

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline leans back against the tree trunk and looks over at the Riddler and then up at the tree's branches. This really is way too much fun. She kind of forgets what actual fun is like sometimes.

"Well what about the IRS agent who was shocked to find himself convicted of tax evasion? He had to collect himself."

[confound]

It's one of those moments where he's fairly sure he looks like a relatively unremarkable if awkward guy. Not a super villian out of costume, or the kind of person that has several weapons on them and is technically evading the law at the moment, or that he would take this clever woman hostage again without blinking. But he supposes he never really looks like that outside of his green suits. When he's not the Riddler, he's just Eddie Nygma, and Eddie Nygma isn't all that impressive.

With the exception of his impressively awful puns. "That's not as bad as theoptical scientist who stole his colleague's bifocals was sentenced to three years in a state prism."

[sweet_caroline]

Caroline turns back to stare at the Riddler after that really awful one. State prism? Really now.

"Did you hear about the short fortune teller who broke out of prison?" She asks in her very best super sweet and innocent voice. "He was a small medium at large." She smiles and tries to keep looking innocent. It's tough when you're also trying not to crack up laughing.

[confound]

The worse the pun, the prouder Eddie is of it. State prism might be one of his best/worst yet today.

Medium at large, though. The innocent act gets a skeptical laugh and a very raised brow. He's on to you, miss. You're enjoying this whatever it is despite knowing his villainous persona; that innocence is about as real as 3 dollar bill.

"Most prisoners' favorite punctuation mark is the period," he replies sagely. "It marks the end of their sentence."

[sweet_caroline]

Curses, he's on to her innocent routine! That's not really a surprise. The fact that Caroline actually pouts at him is surprising to at least herself. Good grief, Lichfield. It can't have been that long since she had decent conversation.

"I also heard the warden gave the inmates acne medicine. He was hoping it would keep them from breaking out."

[confound]

"From what I understand they also tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted."

The pouting gets a very impish sort of grin from the off-the-clock supervillian. Pouting at him. Oh, my. What an interesting day it is. He chuckles at it, and it's nice to do so because he's legitimately amused by someone and not sadly amused because they're dull. "I don't believe I ever caught your name, miss...?"

[sweet_caroline]

"I heard somebody called the cops on a daycare. There was a three year old resisting a rest." Boy, the quality is just going down hill in a hurry.

Caroline blinks. "I was starting to think you only spoke in terrible puns. My name's Caroline." She's not going to volunteer her last name. She's being unwise right now, but not that unwise.

[confound]

Ok, that was another actually bad one. His response might be even worse. "Word is, a basketball player and a jockey just robbed a bank. Police are looking high and low."

Eddie chuckles again. "No, not really. It's just a rare day I come across someone with an appreciation for the artform." The artform in question being ludicrously bad puns, of course.

He pushes himself up on an elbow and offers a hand to shake, smiling in what he hopes is a very nonthreatening manner that mostly comes across as vaguely troublemaking. Go on, he doesn't bite. And all his weapons are hidden still, besides. "Eddie. And that is a lovely name, Caroline."

[sweet_caroline]

"Would you say it's a punder appreciated art?" Okay, that's really terrible. She's not remotely sorry.

Caroline takes the offered hand. Shaking hands isn't really any weirder than swapping awful puns, is it? And she's quietly glad he introduced himself, because she couldn't actually remember his uh... civilian name? She could probably identify most of the Gotham Rogues Gallery by costume at least, but she couldn't tell you much else. There's something about Gotham, where a lot of information seems to just stay within city limits, she's noticed since she's been in the area. It's also almost a little bit tricky to really get the same level of information about surrounding areas as she's used to. It's a little unsettling, honestly, and familiar at the same time. She can't quite place why, though...

And... wait what? Caroline blinks. Lovely name? Uh, okay. "Nice to meet you, Eddie." She says it because that's what you're supposed to say, but she's surprised to find she means it. Gun waving aside, of course. She smiles back and hopes she doesn't look like too much of a weirdo.

Oh please, Lichfield, this is a supercriminal. He probably won't even notice if you do look like a weirdo.

[confound]

Eddie feigns a theatrically appalled face for a moment. "Yes, I would certainly say so."

He'd certainly like to continue the conversation and encounter... somehow, though honestly conversation is not his forte. Unfortunately for him, it's about then that he hears the telltale sound of police sirens. Not the insistent cacophony of a police cruiser that's on a specific trail, thankfully; it's that odd sort of abbreviated whoop whoop that mostly lets you know one's there.

"Ahhh... It was very nice seeing you again under less... illegal circumstances but I do believe that's my signal to make myself scarce. Lest I be caught and punished, you understand." He stands carefully, dusting the grass from his clothes. He'd tip his hat to her but... he's not actually wearing one. He settles on a nod, instead. "Goodbye for now, Caroline."

He takes his coffee, or what's left of it, and just casually strolls away across the park. He's got a second heist to plan and he'd rather not deal with Gotham PD today.